Additional Ways to Scare Runners

 

Liam brought up an important point about people who freak out while running with headphones on.  This type of behavior is clearly unacceptable, but as long as we are talking about frightening joggers/runners, we might as well do some brainstorming.  Every time I run and someone honks at me, i have a mini-seizure and my heart rate doubles.  

Most runners have better nerves than I do, though.  I would argue that runners need to get surprise-tackled more.  That way they will always be nervous and flinchy, which is how runners should be-Runners need to be awkward and easy to take down.  It’s easier to like someone when you can crush them.

This is by far the worst post I’ve ever written on this or any other website.  Other ways to scare runners include threatening their lives mid-race with either a sign or well articulated shout.  If I was ever in 2nd place in a race, which will never happen again, I would whisper personal information about the leader (i.e. their social security number) in their ear to rattle them.